Stop sending me letters including fancy graphs with fancy words like “deductible” and “claims.” I don’t have a clue what your graph means all I want to know is that I give you my money every month to ensure that the next time I land on my neck, hit a tree, or am taste tested by a shark (patience, my time will come) you’ll pay to have my body pieced together enough for that nice Italian open casket funeral my folks always wanted. Good lookin out :)

thatkidcam:

You have no idea, not even the slightest clue about how I feel. I’ve tried to open up to you on multiple occasions, it just never felt like the right moment. I want to spend time with you, and by that I mean physically have us together in person. You’re always busy, and I feel like you never have…

pitchfork:

The xx’s new album, Coexist, is due out September 11 in the U.S. and September 10 internationally via Young Turks. Illustration by Louise Zergaeng Pomeroy.

If I had a dollar for every time I hear a bitch say “I think you should talk to her” in regard to feuding “friends” I could pay for the time slots in which these horrible reality shows inhabit and air nothing but white noise. So here it goes…

Bunny love’s 3 golden rules for a hit reality show!
1) get some bitches
2) feed them booze
3) tell one of them to tell another one to talk to a estranged cast member, make up and be nice.

Sit back, drink your box of wine, and wait for the $$$$$$

workaholics:

1. What is your plan for me, Adam?
2. How’d you get such great triceps?
3. How’d you get such great delts?
4. Your face is an awesome face (not a question, I know, but he’ll probably bring it up)
5. How do the three shells work in Demolition Man? I know you didn’t make the movie, but I’m stumped and clearly you’re a problem solver.
6. How’d you get such great quads?
7. What’s the fastest route to work?  I bet your way is faster than Ders’ way.
8. Can you teach me how to dougie?
9. Why “Jagger’s” moves?
10. Where’s the best place to get pizza in Rancho Cucamonga?
11. What’s Alice’s deal?
12. Can I party with you when you come to Heaven?
13. When do you want to die?  Check this box for “Never”.

Fucking righteous!

Starting to break

I’m speaking so fast because I’m so excited. See Maggie Simpson in her first starring role in The Longest Daycare in 3D before Ice Age Continental Drift only in theatres! We’ve already done the hardest part..making the poster!

One question. Does she speak?

Individuals and companies that jump at the chance to promote themselves during tragedies or simply because the wind is blowing a certain way make me sad for the human race. I feel like the word “tasteful” has been lost in a sea of restaurant reviews. Some people are just sad :(

Friends on the worldwide web aren’t real friend anyway..they are all imaginary unless u talk to them in real life
-proverb by bear